How to Honor the Warrior: Maternal Grandpa's Journey with Alzheimers
We all have experienced a loss in our lives of loved ones. I would like to share a story of my Maternal Step Grandpa's journey with Alzheimers. He fought in two world wars and was a retired navyman. He kept his navy habits from his white tees and shined shoes and shaved and combed balding hair and using Aqua Velva. He loved his pipes and cigarettes and his favorite Vitamin was B for Beer. He was an Irish Nez Perce Indian man who cooked for the Navy and they called him "Stew" or "Cookie." He loved women and flirting with them and loved my Grandma a sexy and passionate woman who could dance, cook, sew and make him smile.
I was noticing over time when his adopted daughter/my aunty lived with him and she would tell me things and that's why she moved in to care for him. We were childhood friends my aunty but 6 months apart. We had polar opposites paths in life.
After a few phones calls with my aunt; she revealed he was forgetting where he lived at times when he went out for grocery shopping only 5 minutes away and at times the police had to intervene and help him out. He had several relatives live with him including his adopted daughter and kids in his home after Grandma passed. It still worried me and I would call him to ask how he was on a weekly basis. Later on; my aunty was no longer there and her children grew up and left one by one.
I knew something was wrong when he would ask me in mid sentence: "Who am I speaking to?" I would tell him in a calm and smiling toned voice." This is your Granddaughter, Donna from Georgia." During our telephone conversations; I would ask him when they last visited him? I would ask him when he ate last.
It was a stressful time in my life as my son was mysteriously afflicted every time he ate something and going to specialists and my daughter would not be able to move in short amounts of time during the day or speak and was going through that stress figuring out both issues. As well as my husband having mysterious lung issues and ended up in ER a few times. Going and setting appointments. Plus my son went to a special music industry school that required he be driven to and from school.
During this time; I felt my son had allergies and the doctor's too slow in the process. So I started eliminating common ingredients and food and watched how his digestive system responded. I learned and had to cook different meals for his lunch at school or dinner and for repairing his digestive system first then healing it. I had the task of cooking other foods to heal my husband's lungs and then figure out what foods it was.
There was much stress in property rights in another state we were brought into court to be judged by our skin color. My husband was stressed figuring out which lawyer to trust that didn't have connections to the city mayor judge. He learned that the first time. He also learned that in time; it wasn't about improving life in Rosa Parks district in housing but more fighting for their property rights by example.
As you can see this is a busy and stressful time for me. Eventually, the stress got to me and for the first time I caught a heart virus called 'pericarditis.' I had to manage resting and looking after all three and me.
During this time; I would call and write and send cards weekly and holidays. Sending my grandpa boxers, thermal, socks, towels, winter shirts and jeans and anything for the bathroom or kitchen. I would then send special treats while dealing with a rambunctious daughter.
It was when I got a call after attempts to tell the family my intuition said, "Grandpa needs to be taken care of by getting in their home asap." I felt it strongly and tried to tell all relatives that something wasn't right. At one point I had to send canned food and money as someone once again broke into his bank account.
I found that he allowed someone to move in that mentioned his favored adopted daughter's name and he was taking money out of the account. I also rallied my parents or brothers about this. Finally, they went to see him and someone had painted over the numbers on the wall to each person in the family near him as he used a black book for the numbers and that went missing. It was heartbreaking when the senators for VA there wouldn't answer my letters. He was a sailor and obnoxiously stubborn to deal with. He had a Irish Indian temper.
That night there was a social worker in his living room. She asked he each and everyone that came over's name and how were they each related. They all told her that they were relatives and we had numbers painted on the wall as he kept misplacing his telephone black book. She had been assigned to him. It was my doing because every time he said his money was gone from the bank; I urged him to tell the bank tellers so someone would notice if he looked dirty or disoriented. It worked and that's how she got there from my exasperation and frustration.
Unfortunately, the next day they returned because he insisted on staying into custody as ward of the state in a nursing home. It was an emotional ordeal and I advised about care programs since I cared for my husband's mother and my husband was a real estate person having to do with property issues. Eventually, my older brother and his wife were custodians after court appearances.
In the meantime, my older brother's wife was a Christian and not into the intuitive gifts we didn't share with her and her disapproving family. I learned to talk to his higher self, his basic self and lower self and what his heart really loved and wanted. Although, I didn't think much of his adopted daughter as trustworthy; if his heart and higher self wanted something; I would let her know what his normal habits were and his likes and dislikes. I want to emphasize as a relative and family member I had to put on the unbiased healer hat in his own best interests. He told me that he wanted the house left to the adopted daughter who was not there. I let them know that will be something to sort out with her. Eventually, they had to dig records of his date first diagnosed with Alzheimer's and it was way before his 2 wills surfaced that meant he wasn't of sound mind and body and my Brother makes the decisions on his property and care.
I would then talk to his soul about what he thought of this predicament; he wanted to hang on and after 8 months he asked me soulfully "What would you do if you were me?" I would tell him that everyone has this divine free will and choice and I could not interfere with God's contract with his soul. That he had to measure out how long he would be in a body that wouldn't move anymore or carry him and wait for his adopted daughter to come back or would he want to be free with God as he choose. When is what his decision would be. He said, "I will think about that." It is best to speak the higher self or soul because it doesn't have a disease to affect his mental capacity.
After a few months; consoling my mother, my sister-in-law; having to up date his adopted daughter in prison and my overseas brother in the military of constant updates to his health or progress. I wrote to him in nursing homes and continued to call as much as I could. Then my grandpa's soul w