Spells - Why You Shouldn't when It Comes to Relationships

Dear Earth Lovers;

I know that certain spiritualities believe in creating the best relationships by having love spells or any kind of spells to make their lives better. I am not particularly fond of spells

because I have seen some relationships that are unexplainably fast and hot and heavy in the the love/lust department and end very badly.

It may feel so good at first but you didn't consider how the other person feels about spells or understands that even binding may mean more than they expected. Let's just say I have seen spells created in 3rd world countries in the midst of war, poverty and survival to attract a partner to protect, love and be with them. Undoubtedly, I find out from the ones who were the receiver of the spells that they didn't understand what was going on and laugh it off and others confide in me that they are scared or miserable and think their partner used magic for their own benefit to get them.

There are consequences when you go against the law of free will. There are also consequences when you are a possessive personality or have abuse or ptsd experiences and function from that position. It is best not to be in a relationship until you address any abuse and trauma in your life to be a whole person to another. It is also best to engage with another in those terms if your spirituality practices this or a family member uses this as the most successful and effective way to gain a relationship under this false belief that you gotta get yours.

What you are doing is undermining and taking advantage of a person who may be nice to you and others and you misread their generosity of laughter, love and time with you as a non platonic relationship. You are also bordering into the line as the healer turned in to demon. I have seen way too many clients who experience another ex's wrath or jealousy and cast spells to 'torture' their minds or create darkness in their lives because they refused their advances. You've got to be real; we don't owe or own anyone in this life to be in a relationship to please another and it feels like a strange pull; you have to think and have conversations with your heart, your mind and body and ask: "Is this for me?" You need time alone to do this away from a potential new love/lust interest to determine this and take that time.

I have seen spells put on items of clothing or personal items the other is unaware and given as a gift to them affect their clarity, their positive mood and free will. Cast those items away if you felt miserable, emotionally sad, angry or depressed and have smudged or cleansed them and see about casting these away if they still affect you. There may be a bond with the giver focused on having you at their own benefit and pleasure or jealousy.

Remember, love/lust is not control. You will be tested how giving you are as a healer or caring and giving person and empath. You have to understand that fear will not get rid of this. Your strength and immediate boundaries set with the individual on day one or first encounter or inkling or hint of attraction you are not feeling is essential to stop in its tracks.

I have seen too many empaths get wrapped up in another's need to have excitement or a one night stand or a life long plan even though they don't know each other even a year.

I have also seen the anger and possessiveness to have another is a sign that you have abandonment issues or neglect and try to force someone to adore you and be with you is an illusion without the physical quality time to talk, get to know each other. Do not share all your weaknesses or strengths with the potential partner if you feel the pull and it ain't a gentle one; it is a hard one and you need to cut the cords connected or hooked into with obsidian and clear crystal quartz or pure holy water and oils and sage/sweet grass.

You are responsible for your own cleansing. If you have issues; you ask a healer or Pure Light helper to assist. You have the right to say "No." You have the right to love or lust others but keep your boundaries and stick to them. Do not fluctuate because that means you are not clear in your boundaries and your choice to love or lust and participate together. Sure you will be tempted yourself. Sure you will respond to an extent but naturally it's your choice. If you don't take the vows of the old marriage laws; then you have more choices and freedoms. It is not a judgment if you are sexually active but take precautions who you let into your energy field. Even the ones we love/lust can influence us.

I have met a few lonely folks who crave appreciation and love. We all do but to the point they live a double life and their partner thinks they know them. Please don't take vows if you can't keep them and I pray we update this old system of marriage so that others understand to work for love/lust or relationship takes time, focus and mutual understanding and communication of what each other's expectations are. I believe the old system marriage vows for the millennials are too old for the new world. That the decision to marry be from the heart and not what culture, society and community or family and friends think are the best for us. I have seen too many marriages that are secrets kept from each other in terms of affairs but there's an unwritten 'rule' that as long as the other doesn't see it or catch me; then it is okay. Those are from the primal minds of the old days from war times where survival and quick fixes to deal with it affected our ways of dealing with trauma. We have evolved more than that. I would say if you are married and openly discuss your changes in your terms of relationship to explore; it is best to be honest with each other and talk about this innate need for exploration. Does your relationship need something different, more excitement and different role playing. What is the void in your heart creating this decision and your expressed need to your partner. Do you both agree to explore together? This maybe a shock to you but you do have hidden feelings, emotions and feel voids in your life? Make sure it is to enhance mutually the relationship that you are happy. Another reason to explore may be not love or lust area but more your divine path. Are you feeling fulfilled or filling your time? Then there's another issue to explore and address rather then love or lust in a relationship. This is your life and it is never too late to find your path, explore your path in the community.

I am a rare breed; although tempted ...have drawn the line that you cause pain when you act upon love/lust that isn't thought out about the repercussions and the domino effect it does connected to each and every one of us and our partners as well. We have learned alot in our relationship and have been painfully honest but its the beauty of honesty to strive for and talk it out. It is important when one person hasn't dated as much as the other and the other has had experience that we understand how to communicate to each other with this knowledge and empower, inspire each other, explore and respect each other and acknowledge our true feelings about any issues that come up in our lives. It is important to teach our children to take their time in finding the love/lust interest in our lives and not rush into any bond or use spells to achieve something that affects an unknowing other. This kind of honesty leads to a nurturing relationship for both of you.

When I hear a partner talk about their partner like one is always the dominant and the other is not and I cringe because I think that those roles are great in some role playing but if you allow your power to be taken away for love and please another; you can't possibly be yourself, you can't be happy and you aren't being truthful. It is time for heart to heart discussion that you want to be equal and able to share the good, bad and ugly. Dialogue is better than spells.

Spells can be used to heal but in the act of Pure Light and Agreement with the person affected, you and Creator/God/Goddess. Make sure you understand the long haul and get to know each other well. Don't move into a relationship without thought unless you enjoy quick fixes in your life; then proceed and look only to yourself and the decisions you made without blaming the other. In the end, you have to look at you and feel what your heart feels from it all. Take into account that the Universal Law "Thy Will Be Done" is exactly what it means. Your choice, you decide and you deal with it. Nothing is permanent and can be ended with dialogue. Really get to know each other before creating bonds from spells.

Love is not Control. Love is not Harm. Love is not Possessive. Love is not Abusive. Love is not Neglect. Love is Truth. Love yourself first and you will gain much insight and clarity before getting into any relationships of any kind.

Hope this helps you in terms of understanding spells. Even the items for the spells is best you ask permission of items that you are utilizing and the helpers you use too. You must understand that a healer in love doesn't guarantee good love/lust in your life. There must be thought before rushing into something that will hurt you and or both in the end and be a long and miserable ride to a bad ending. Much love and hope you understand your responsibility for yourself and or if a healer and a relationship that is happy together.