I'm Pregnant...the Dreaded Moment of Teen/Young Adult

Every parent or parental guide dreads this predicament: “Hey Mom, I’m Pregnant…help me!”

These days the children are raised to engage sexually before they understand the balance in life and urges don’t have to be acted upon so quickly without teaching them the consequences and the long term question they need to ask themselves. Is it for now? What happens next? Do I want to have fun? Can I avoid sexually transmitted disease? What types of healthy preventions can I take at this point or do I see this as an opportunity to self discipline and use discernment. Is it something I really want or am I being coerced or forced or pressured? If the latter is the situation; I encourage a young adult teen not to engage in sexual encounters if it goes against their own gut and is uncomfortable for them. Your body knows when it’s ready; when it’s safe and when it’s confused as the hormones are raging and mental maturity is not all there.

When my son or daughter engages in sexual encounters; I would hope that I taught them to take precautions and get to know their partner and their own character. Are you okay with being a scoreboard for them or are you using them as your scoreboard? Is this person going to appreciate the night after or day after? How do I find the matching partner in this journey of self exploration and sexuality? Can I talk to my parents or ask a doctor about contraception and the knowledge of the types of sexually transmitted diseases, symptoms and treatments but first make sure everyone is comfortable and at age. Another encounter is one not of age and the other of age. What if they fight and break up will the partner take revenge and call it rape? What do I need to do most importantly in this type of relationship? Do I be careful and have the patience to wait until my partner is of age? Do I seek one who is of age? Do I know myself to be patient and understanding not to endanger you and your partner’s future? Are they in love? Do we entertain scenarios of conversations of respectful ways of treating each other as individuals and the or intimacy and growth in that area? Will I be able to handle my school or job without obsessions of sexual encounters and go crazy going after one person to the next? What kind of character do I have? Can I be smart in choosing a person who has the same philosophy, maturity and age appropriateness. Can a family engage in giving guidance on how to treat each other, how to understand each other in a long term relationship and know how to advise them if things don’t work out…don’t do something you will have to pay legal consequences for.

These are things they need to have talks with their parents or aunty or uncles, & doctor, etc.

Am I ready to have a child? Will I be able to commit to my school and pass and my career and give this child a good quality life and a favorable environment to thrive and succeed in their lives as well? Am I going to be able to have time to be a good parents and afford the finances to do this? Do I have the support of community or family or friends? What if by chance we get pregnant? What does my partner feel about adoption, abortion, etc.? These are important to discern…don’t be in a fairytale world where things come together without thought or a plan or contemplating of the true readiness you have to offer a child? Can you be real? 

We need these talks…we need to assess our history as young adults and impart what we learned doesn’t work and what works with conversations about discernment in sexual intimacy and what kind and what issues may happen? 

Another topic is having multiple types of partners. Will this affect or confuse the child? Will your gratification and exploration with the child so young witnessing this be able to be dealt with when it leaks out at school when they are so young talking about their homelife. Is it legal in some states or countries? Is this something you should hold back and make sure a young child sees it as friendship. Do you want the child to see you in bed with multiple partners when they wake up in the morning to find you? Do you think this will help or hinder the choices in partnerships if the complexity is introduced without thought about how it affects your child and how they engage in family and society & eventually as a young sexually active person? These are also important questions and you have to know the state laws or the community you are in. 

Are you ready for the hard choices and the hard conversations? Can you determine if the maturity of your child is less forward than another? Will you be able to understand how to engage and touch on these subject matters openly but with calm, well thought out discussions that help your teen or young adult understand relationships in a healthy and unified and mutual agreement with intention, thought, truth and love? Well, these are things you wish to ask.

The other thing is the pregnancy; some parents are known to ostracise their child and throw them out. If they confide in you; they are hoping you can help them? You have a child on the way and how to we engage with the other partner and include the family and if we got to know the child enough and the family and the partner and their family to understand how to engage and resolve this option together. When a child comes to you; they are scared, confused, worried and don’t know what to do. If you haven’t stepped in before; now is the time to do it so weighing the options of the quality of life of your teen or young adult to figure out adoption or abortion is legal or done not in a backside alley. To be safe and sure and making every attempt that this is the way to go for the sake of all so they can complete their schooling and life plans and when ready to be able to have a quality life to start a family again. Also, I do believe if the mother is in danger or the baby from having the full term birth that it is decided to abort early enough or if there is a genetic disease or disability…that will have that child on machines the rest of their life has to be considered. When we talk with our children about sexual intimacy…there’s more to the consequences of exploration and ecstasy and there is responsibility. Or can the family step in and help with the pregnant teen/adult in getting healthcare and baby sitting, etc. Can the 'village raise a child' philosophy be a real situation that can occur if they feel they can help with long term stability? Some countries have approved an earlier age to marry and have children and have multiple spouses with multiple children...

I urge you to have the hard conversations without shame and explore and advise and follow up and be a pain in your teen or adults side but don’t abandon them in a fragile moment that could ruin their future and the baby’s. Quality of life is so important with logical and calm resolve. It is up to folks and their decision but don’t rely on old information or societal rules that don’t apply in this age and stage of life. Much loving light hugs.