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Blue Thunder's First Experience with Rape' or Hape' 4/7/2024

Met with a plant medicine woman who by chance moved locally from a foreign country. It was impressive how she said you don’t need plant medicine all the time for some people. I am one of them because I am ultra sensitive and lasts a few days. 

I went to a women’s workshop only. I was in need of seeing mature and real women who were wanting the best self forward to show up. Well, it was phenomenal.

We did several exercises. I was the oldest one in the group and the next person was 10 years younger than me. 

We did wonderful empowering and taking back your power exercises outside and finding our childhood self as we submitted childhood photos. The one I sent made me happy because that was the time of life you were so pure and just happy and very curious. My eyes had a wonder to keep learning like I do today.

The Facilitator was very experienced and knew how to engage and get us to think and do our own work. She had another Shaman Psychotherapist and was quite experienced as well. The intentions were high and the flow and ease of each gradual exercise was with great purpose to rebuild ourselves from within. Tapping into our minds and our ego and asking why and why not move forward and leave ancestral cycles behind and go for our dreams and not let it hold us back to ancient patriarchal ways.

We have the most gifted folks there from varied backgrounds. We also did our dream and fire ceremony to release and so it is exercise outside by the waters of what we wrote our dreams were earlier in the day. 

We have a meal and it was lovingly and deliciously prepared by their assistant. She was most loving to me as they burned incense. I was allergic too as we sat to introduce ourselves. I had an asthma attack and went into the rest room and grabbed my inhalers and she rushed to ask if I needed anything…I said water and she got it for me so easily and was truly concerned. I told her I filled my allergies out on the forms and food allergies. She apologized and said it was overlooked. I then went outside for fresh air and got settled down. She was so accommodating and loving …truly concerned.

Then some were from a place I met the facilitator and also from sweat lodge as well. One from sweat lodge knew the deceased assistant and she made herbal and natural elixirs to heal you. She said she would give me one and see me at the next sweat lodge. I told her I was going on April 20th and she still had a child to look after but would come after the sweat lodge to visit.

My leg was starting to freeze up at the wrestling exercise thinking of my past after the 1st exercise to find our childhood picture and keep running back and forth to get it if we didn’t. The wrestling for our power not fighting or anything was allowed or beating or punching. I was last with a woman. We were to get one on the ground. She grabbed my hair and tossed me on the ground as my leg froze. She didn’t follow instructions and was not supposed to fight pulling my hair at all. My leg muscles started to freeze because 2 women were in there. One was crying about her need to be accepting of herself and recognize her power and the other just found out her kids were being molested. She was triggering my past. I heard the facilitator say: “You have to fight for your power.” I heard now you have to fight the demon in your head …at 13 years old…your father. I body slammed him to escape as he was a soldier. Confronted him and told him straight. I didn’t want to hurt anyone or body slam the partner. My leg froze on the masculine side of my body …the right so psychosomatic and revealing of my past. Then I land bending back the other small toe on the left foot. I said to the woman that you do not fight fair. I was a mess (not crying) but then the assistant and others helped me walk back into the building and the facilitator stretched and pressed the energy out as much as she could during breaks. I was able to move and told her she was magical and thanked her.

After returning back inside for a break and discussing the wrestling exercise; it was time to divide the group who wanted the facilitator to administer or the psychotherapist to teach others wishing (who had done this before on themselves go to her). I revealed that the woman didn’t hurt my leg but it was me thinking of my Dad molesting me and having to fight as the 13 year old again and didn’t want to hurt my partner. 

When the facilitator came to me and administered the medicine;  I was feeling so much lights on joy when administered to both nostrils and told the facilitator. She said you must’ve done this before and I said this was my first time. (At least in this life time. Ha! Ha!) She gifted us self administering pipes as gifts and had other items to purchase and said her favorite rape’ or hape’ is from Brazil tsuno and a strong one pareeshka. We were administered the tsuno.

I felt nausea and during the breathing even more and a need to go to the bathroom but nothing was coming out. I was the last to be administered with 13 women so we laid down for the halotropic breathing.

We came back after the fire burning of our dreams to release and fulfill the dream ceremony by the lake by burning our papers in small buckets and then taking turns to pour the ashes in the lake. We had a beautiful meal prepared as we sat and chatted about our experiences and shared. We then convened and they served us cacao to drink which is very grounding. It was a revealing and blessing of a day. I will return for other workshops.


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