Domestic Violence Stems from Karma
Hello All Beloveds;
I hope all is well in your world. I had wanted to write about domestic violence. We often have publicized and accepted domestic violence against women, elderly, against children, animals and the last of all no thought is given to a man.
We have been programmed that men would be ridiculed by being hit by a girl. Lines like ‘fight like a girl’ and ‘boys don’t cry’ are ludicrous. Why are men held high only on what they do, who they kill in war, how much money and how high the ladder of the corporate world you get & the team score and win? Why are men limited by ancestral programming and patriarchal systems to perform is the manly thing to do. To shut off emotions is the manly thing to do. To wear blue, to not dance, to not love to cook or paint or do art? Men don’t sew or design or crotchet unless they are gay. Why do we only have a skewed idea what a man’s performance and skill set have to be. Men have to be strong, good fighters, protect and serve. That sounds like a soldier or a knight. Men have other roles in life and sometimes push these aside because their fellow programmed men sometimes in power roles tell them so and they follow what is a good man. When we don’t fit into those categories; we are made ashamed or ridiculed and even violently treated til the ‘man up’ and do the manly right thing.
Sorry to say men are humans and they can love, feel, communicate and create. Women cannot co-create without the male infusion and sperm to make a beautiful being. So let’s toss that idea out the window. I have come across feminine type men who have been bullied, beaten by family members or bullied because they were gentle yet had a man’s body. Other’s hide all these passions of exploration because we are taught in school that’s a woman’s thing and this is a man’s thing. Constantly drilled into sports to man up and focus on competition and winning. If you don’t win; you are defeated and told to try harder or you didn’t do enough. Always doing makes a man.
I have had clients who have been hit many times by their female wives, or partners. I remember a few told me the woman told the man: “I am a woman and if you call the police; they will believe me instead of you.” What has become of our society when a man loves a woman so much he is told: “Men don’t hit girls...ever.” What I am saying is to de-escalate by being calm not confrontational and leave and give the situation some space and tell them that you are upset; we cannot talk this out right now. Try to block blows and tell the woman you are too heated up right now and we don’t want to avoid using words instead of blows to speak for us. We can then tell them later that hitting me won’t resolve unresolved issues you haven’t learned before we met. These 'coping skill' that taught you swift, violent action instead of words was the answer to a peaceful union. That something you learned from an ancestor was exhibited and you took careful notes because you were impacted by those moments the violence was chosen to overpower or not communicate. That these are moments that are controlling how you treat me and I am not your past but we can have a healthier future by not using these things in the end don’t make us feel good about ourselves and our relationship. This is karma and it grows when not aware of and making healthier changes by guided counselors. Suggest counseling. If they refuse; then you have no alternative but to calmly leave.
If your situation is so bad you can’t even tell them you are leaving for fear of another attack. Most of these attacks happen when the man is in the shower, asleep or from the back or in the car which is all dangerous. We have to better ourselves before we get into relationships and take a longer paced courtship before moving in together or getting married to make sure all our own individual issues are ironed out. Some have drinking/drug issues as well and you really cannot do this alone. Ask for Support Groups and resources to assist to get the help they need & you get the help you need. Please don’t have children if you are new in your relationship.
If the attacker is calculated and withdraws access to funds, doesn’t allow you to have friendships or do your passions; this is not the harmonic union at all. You need to find support to help you make a move. You are not alone. You are not deserving of abuse nor are you a bad person. You can be strong and make the changes you need to be healed and healthy. If your attacker stalks you; then you have to find resources and places safe to go. You have to let the authorities know and maybe create a restraining order and move to a temporary place for shelter.
I am not a therapist or counselor but a concerned woman for our men but I only know that having a strong faith to go to and find the resources are the best choice to wellness. We must be more open and compassionate to men who are abused. Some are the muscled men in the gym and or huge men who were violated by family or friends of the family. They are not disgusting and bad men because they were violated nor weak. They must know that they are loved and cared for (feminine energy) in order to be whole again. They deserve to have their life back and assured as we always do that it is the man’s fault and he has to fix it himself or keep to himself because that’s just something to be ashamed of. I say no way. You get your healing done and be whole again and no you are loved from the most powerful love from above. That love cannot be diminished or destroyed. When you feel destroyed; remember to turn to your safe resources and that love from above. You are better off on your path of strength and wholeness than lost and unempowered because someone violated your safety, peace and harmony even one that loved you who was unhealed and unable to admit their actions were wrong against you.
Live a life filled with supportive people and make the changes from not feeling powerless into powerful by your choices to commit to your own wellness. I wish you and send most loving light hugs Beloved. Much love.